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Fear, Greed and the Desire for Power are the cause of incessant conflict in personal relationships and particularly when the relationship the center of a divorce or custody action.

Each has its own traits in litigation to look for and control:

1. FEAR: The biggest fear is that of the unknown. What will happen to me and to our children as a result of this litigation? Will I have a place to live and money to live on? Will the children be with me enough? Will the children be OK when they are with the other parent?

2. GREED: There never seems to be “enough” in divorce and custody cases. There is not enough time with the children, there is never enough money or property to go around.

3. DESIRE FOR POWER: Each party in a Divorce of Child Custody Action wants to be a “Winner.” Each wants to believe that they have power over the other party, whether it be in the form the decision making or time with the children, how much money they give to the other party or the other party takes for support, power to impact the outcome through manipulation, the ability to out finance the other side, or emotional strength to endure to battle.

It is easy to misinterpret someone’s actions or what they say, when any of these three factors come into play. An innocent statement may be interpreted as a “Desire for Power.” This misinterpretation then leads you to the wrong action (or reaction.) For example, You become fearful that the other Parent of your Children is trying to manipulate you and dominate the children’s time when their particular request in a certain situation may be a legitimate one.

Your desire for “more,” whether it be for more time with the children, more money, more assets, and just more attention, is a bottomless pit that can never be filled. Get rid of the “I wants.”

It is almost impossible to stay away from these emotions, particularly when experiencing a custody or divorce action. Just try to recognize when you are experiencing the “Big Three.” Ask yourself if they are the Motivating Factor for your actions. You will have come a long way just by recognizing these emotions, and you will often be able to avoid saying or doing the wrong thing because you are no longer on “automatic pilot.”

Leave these three words out somewhere that you will see them often. Continue to ask yourself, are my actions today motivated by any or all of them? If so, you have a chance to change your behavior and in turn, make life a much better place for you, and most importantly, for your children.

If your motivations are right, the outcome of your Child Custody or Divorce case will also be right and you will be satisfied with it, I guarantee it.

By: Dianne Ophelia

It’s possible to split a divorce into three parts which are separation, divorce and the life after divorce. As about half of all marriages end in divorce today, there are obviously millions of couples and even more children from these couples who face each of the three stages listed above. This article tells you once and for all that there is a great deal of free advice for couples involved in any stage of a divorce. You are at liberty to consult a lawyer at any time. But you would be wise to at least study the free advice listed, mainly online, on every aspect of a divorce.

The first thing to learn is that the vast majority of couples come to an agreement over things like shared assets and child custody. One or both spouses may not like the terms of the agreement but studies show that when a judge makes a decision on the issue, generally speaking there are no winners. So another piece of free advice is to sort things out before you go to court.

You should know that unless something really strange is proposed, a judge will endorse an agreement signed by both parties.

Children are obviously an important part of most divorces. As many marriages end before a period of 15 years, there are many children who are still too young to fend for themselves and thus remain the responsibility of their parents. In fact children are often the reason many marriages last as long as they do.

So in choosing to divorce, every spouse should understand that the cost of raising their child or children does not disappear when the marriage ends. In fact child support can be a major part of a divorce. And if the spouse with primary care of the child re-marries, the original order of the court regarding child support may not be changed. So a supporting parent who may be struggling to pay child support may have a former spouse who has re-married and gained wealth a result. It helps to know all the things which may and often do happen following a divorce.

A lawyer, particularly one who deals solely with divorce, will be able to provide expert advice. However, it is possible to do most if not all the legwork for your divorce on your own. The available free online advice is detailed and easy to understand. There are even step by step guides helping you to obtain the required paperwork and instructions on completing them. Many couples today divorce without the use of any lawyer at all.

There are some who would argue that a couple should stay in their marriage if no other reason than for the sake of their children. To counter this some will say the best thing for the children is to be removed from the bitterness of the parents’ marriage.

Whatever action you take, consult as widely as possible. Remember the three stages and know there is almost as much help for the divorced person as there is for someone separated or in the process of obtaining a divorce. It’s a stressful time even in the so-called most friendly of divorces. Help yourself by taking your share of the free divorce advice.

By: Berna Abonita

Filing a divorce can be both stressful and expensive. Before both parties should come into a conclusion as to whether or not to proceed with the divorce, there are several things that should be considered. There is not really a so-called perfect way on how to divorce but there are certain ways that can make the event less stressful on both parties. The data on public divorce records show that lesser couples are making that sudden decision of just filing a divorce just to get rid of the partner they no longer desire.

So you may ask – what is the first step on how to divorce?

The very first thing that a couple needs is a divorce lawyer. When choosing your divorce lawyer, it is important that you choose one that is experienced on such matters. And because you are choosing an expert on the field, you will have to pay for the price. Divorce lawyers have a high asking fee and you will have to prepare yourself financially for this.

Another thing that needs to be considered is what to do with the children after the divorce. Those who are childless do not have to worry about this one. The custody of the children is often one problem that is faced by most couples, based on public divorce records statistics. Child custody becomes a problem when both parties cannot come into an agreement on who should have custody of the child. Child support is another thing that must be discussed. Since raising a child can be a heavy burden financially, child support also needs to be discussed, as well as visitation rights of the parent who will not have the custody of the child.

Division of conjugal property is another thing that needs to be properly discussed. It is important that both parties can come up with an agreement on who gets the properties that they both own. It isn’t necessary that the properties will be equally divided as long as they come up with something that they both with agree on.

A divorce is not only stressful and expensive but can also be emotionally traumatic to the family, especially the children. So now that you know how to divorce and you know that it isn’t an easy process, then perhaps you will have to think twice and as much as possible find ways to patch things up so you do not end up resorting to a divorce. Remember, once you get divorced, the public divorce records will show it and it can be an issue to your next potential partner if you should decide to have a new one.

By: Tessa Watson