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There may come a point in your marriage when a breakup is inevitable and if that happens a good divorce lawyer will be the first item on a list of things to do; certain qualities are necessary, the most important are listed below:

Skilled in this area of law

Know which standpoint to take

Be trusted by their clients

In these circumstances you will need a divorce attorney who has at least half their workload in this area and one that is able to act as a mediator. Still, you also need to feel at ease with them; someone who immediately instills a sense of trust.

Attorneys that tend to follow the mediation route are good at giving settlement advice but you may need an attorney who is more familiar with courtroom settlements. To save time when you contact your divorce lawyer, keep conversations brief and to the point, which can be achieved by preparing what you need from them in advance.

Plan each conversation by making an agenda and write down the things you want to talk about; take notes on the content of the conversation and the amount of time spent on phone calls. Keep a record of all correspondence and conversations and try where possible to have conversations on the phone which will reduce the amount of time required to see them in person.

Remember you divorce attorney is there for their expertise in the field and not to act as a counselor, you should hopefully be able to use people close to you for that. To get the best out of your divorce lawyer, leave any petty arguments you and your spouse have, aside from the divorce case.

The most important aspect for you to get sorted out is the control of the situation which should be yours and then you will be able to use your lawyer more effectively. It is important they know any decisions regarding the divorce are yours to make and they are there for their knowledge and experience in providing legal recommendations. Ask that you be sent copies of all documents and letters and let them know that you expect phone calls to be answered by the next working day after all you are the one paying the bills.

Not all cases need a courtroom to be decided upon so you could employ a lawyer just to help you with a marital settlement, legal information or advice. This means that a little research is necessary on your part but once you have completed this, it is much easier to contact a lawyer to ask them specific questions and how they see your case concluding. Marital settlements are something that can be arranged by the individuals involved and then have them checked by a divorce lawyer; then if things don’t work out, the lawyer can always be hired to make the divorce settlement.

By: Francisco Segura

According to recent statistics, couples who live together before marriage, experience a 50 percent greater divorce rate than couples who didn’t. Most unmarried couples who live together break up within five years and the divorce rate for those who ultimately marry is 67 percent compared to a 45 percent divorce rate for couples who didn’t live together before marriage. This news is shocking to many couples who live together because they believe that living together will actually increase their chances of living happily ever after. Many couples believe that living together before marriage is a trial run of how marriage would be and do it to find out how compatible they are being together 24/7. That’s seems to make a lot of sense – so why is the reality so different?

Actually, the answer is pretty simple according to therapists, researchers and family counselors. Most couples living together before marriage continue to segregate most parts of their lives such as finances, business matters and extended-family problems. They simply think that moving in together is a continuation of their prior relationship while sharing the same home. Frequently, one or both partners view living together as something of an audition for marriage and do their best to avoid any behavior or conversations that might “upset the applecart.” Unfortunately, this way of relating (or not relating) is carried into marriage where partners quickly realize that their unexpressed expectations and lack of communication automatically changes the nature of their relationship, leading to resentment for both spouses.

The solution to this problem should be obvious, but living together and being “out there” in an extended dating mode muddles the relationship waters considerably. If couples have not communicated about complex or even simple life attitudes such as children, finances and religion, those things don’t change after marriage. You can see where this is going. What they don’t understand or choose to ignore, is that discovering these differences before a problem arises is more likely to keep problems from happening in the first place. Just because two people choose to spend their lives together doesn’t mean that they aren’t going to have different opinions, needs or ways of doing things. Learning about these differences means that you can agree to disagree on non-essential matters and find effective ways to negotiate about more important issues.

It is essential to learn and use communication skills in every relationship to avoid land mines that will ultimately result when you do not talk things out when you disagree. When you hear the words “we need to talk” it’s not time to freeze, it’s time to listen. Living together is no panacea to create a successful marriage – only communication can do that.

By: Deborah Dillon