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Fear, Greed and the Desire for Power are the cause of incessant conflict in personal relationships and particularly when the relationship the center of a divorce or custody action.

Each has its own traits in litigation to look for and control:

1. FEAR: The biggest fear is that of the unknown. What will happen to me and to our children as a result of this litigation? Will I have a place to live and money to live on? Will the children be with me enough? Will the children be OK when they are with the other parent?

2. GREED: There never seems to be “enough” in divorce and custody cases. There is not enough time with the children, there is never enough money or property to go around.

3. DESIRE FOR POWER: Each party in a Divorce of Child Custody Action wants to be a “Winner.” Each wants to believe that they have power over the other party, whether it be in the form the decision making or time with the children, how much money they give to the other party or the other party takes for support, power to impact the outcome through manipulation, the ability to out finance the other side, or emotional strength to endure to battle.

It is easy to misinterpret someone’s actions or what they say, when any of these three factors come into play. An innocent statement may be interpreted as a “Desire for Power.” This misinterpretation then leads you to the wrong action (or reaction.) For example, You become fearful that the other Parent of your Children is trying to manipulate you and dominate the children’s time when their particular request in a certain situation may be a legitimate one.

Your desire for “more,” whether it be for more time with the children, more money, more assets, and just more attention, is a bottomless pit that can never be filled. Get rid of the “I wants.”

It is almost impossible to stay away from these emotions, particularly when experiencing a custody or divorce action. Just try to recognize when you are experiencing the “Big Three.” Ask yourself if they are the Motivating Factor for your actions. You will have come a long way just by recognizing these emotions, and you will often be able to avoid saying or doing the wrong thing because you are no longer on “automatic pilot.”

Leave these three words out somewhere that you will see them often. Continue to ask yourself, are my actions today motivated by any or all of them? If so, you have a chance to change your behavior and in turn, make life a much better place for you, and most importantly, for your children.

If your motivations are right, the outcome of your Child Custody or Divorce case will also be right and you will be satisfied with it, I guarantee it.

By: Dianne Ophelia

Some couples use their children as leverage points in a divorce. If you seek good divorce advice, you will be told that children are very vulnerable during a divorce and using them to get what you want can shatter their self esteem. You can have a divorce and still make sure that your children come out of it with their dignity intact.

A divorce takes two just as it takes two to tango. Don’t be quick to heap the blame of divorce on your ex because if you do, you won’t grow up. Learn to examine your contribution to your divorce as it will enable you mature and give you the wisdom to learn how to prevent another divorce in future.

In contacting a divorce lawyer, you need to make sure that they have a great deal of experience and skill and can give good divorce advice. Don’t go for divorce lawyers who are green in the field. Communicate in clear details what you want a divorce lawyer to do for you in order to prevent confusion.

Divorce lawyers are growing fat thanks to all the money that they make off divorce cases. Divorce is becoming big business and more lawyers are opting for divorce law. As brutal as it sounds, divorce is a viable means of income for divorce lawyers these days. You have a choice to decide not to add to this source of income by ensuring you remain married or ensuring that you next marriage works!

When it comes to divorce, compromise is the name of the game. Two couples on the verge of a divorce won’t go that far if they don’t compromise. Try not to make selfish choices even in the course of a divorce. Of course you can’t get all of what you want and how you want it. Be willing to compromise.

Take up yogo or tai chi to help you stay in charge of your emotions during and after a divorce. A divorce can be destabilizing but yoga can make sure that you get back on track. Meditation can be an excellent source of healing after a divorce.

The effects of a divorce can be so traumatizing that it can send some people into a deep spiral of despair. Some people loose their ability to socialize after a divorce while others tend to overdo it a bit. You can prevent the negative aftermath of a divorce happening to you by facing cold hard facts.

Don’t stay in a marriage that makes you sad. An unhappy marriage can shorten your life span. To acquire a long life, steer clear of anything that steals your joy and that includes marriage.

By: Ras Reed

Divorce is never a pleasant subject, but it is reality. If your entering a situation like this you’ll want to get the best representation you can afford, this is key to a successful beginning for your new life. You will find out how the right attorney can help.

I know divorce can feel like the end, an empty lost feeling that won’t go away. This is where a good divorce attorney comes in, they will protect and fight for your needs, your new beginning. As hard as it might be you have to prioritize what you want from a divorce.

This process will determine which type of attorney you’ll hire. It could be a child custody lawyer or one that specializes in spousal alimony. The outcome of this settlement will determine the success of how your new life will start. With emotions running high, finding the right divorce attorney is imperative.

There are two things to look for:

-Specialty
-Fees

Even though lawyers will advertise they handle divorce cases, this doesn’t mean that’s their specialty. In a situation as delicate as this you want the right attorney for your needs. As the law can be complicated so can the process of negotiating your needs.

Fees are always a factor for the average person, don’t hesitate to discus and even negotiate fees upfront. This is one area you don’t want have confusion in and find yourself without representation in the middle of a trial. Get the fee schedule in writing along with any extras that could occur.

Finding the right divorce attorney will have a definite affect on the outcome of your case. Be specific on your needs, be clear on what you can afford and interview several lawyers before you make a decision. ]For further information about finding an attorney.

By: RL Bai