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Fear, Greed and the Desire for Power are the cause of incessant conflict in personal relationships and particularly when the relationship the center of a divorce or custody action.

Each has its own traits in litigation to look for and control:

1. FEAR: The biggest fear is that of the unknown. What will happen to me and to our children as a result of this litigation? Will I have a place to live and money to live on? Will the children be with me enough? Will the children be OK when they are with the other parent?

2. GREED: There never seems to be “enough” in divorce and custody cases. There is not enough time with the children, there is never enough money or property to go around.

3. DESIRE FOR POWER: Each party in a Divorce of Child Custody Action wants to be a “Winner.” Each wants to believe that they have power over the other party, whether it be in the form the decision making or time with the children, how much money they give to the other party or the other party takes for support, power to impact the outcome through manipulation, the ability to out finance the other side, or emotional strength to endure to battle.

It is easy to misinterpret someone’s actions or what they say, when any of these three factors come into play. An innocent statement may be interpreted as a “Desire for Power.” This misinterpretation then leads you to the wrong action (or reaction.) For example, You become fearful that the other Parent of your Children is trying to manipulate you and dominate the children’s time when their particular request in a certain situation may be a legitimate one.

Your desire for “more,” whether it be for more time with the children, more money, more assets, and just more attention, is a bottomless pit that can never be filled. Get rid of the “I wants.”

It is almost impossible to stay away from these emotions, particularly when experiencing a custody or divorce action. Just try to recognize when you are experiencing the “Big Three.” Ask yourself if they are the Motivating Factor for your actions. You will have come a long way just by recognizing these emotions, and you will often be able to avoid saying or doing the wrong thing because you are no longer on “automatic pilot.”

Leave these three words out somewhere that you will see them often. Continue to ask yourself, are my actions today motivated by any or all of them? If so, you have a chance to change your behavior and in turn, make life a much better place for you, and most importantly, for your children.

If your motivations are right, the outcome of your Child Custody or Divorce case will also be right and you will be satisfied with it, I guarantee it.

By: Dianne Ophelia

Filing a divorce can be both stressful and expensive. Before both parties should come into a conclusion as to whether or not to proceed with the divorce, there are several things that should be considered. There is not really a so-called perfect way on how to divorce but there are certain ways that can make the event less stressful on both parties. The data on public divorce records show that lesser couples are making that sudden decision of just filing a divorce just to get rid of the partner they no longer desire.

So you may ask – what is the first step on how to divorce?

The very first thing that a couple needs is a divorce lawyer. When choosing your divorce lawyer, it is important that you choose one that is experienced on such matters. And because you are choosing an expert on the field, you will have to pay for the price. Divorce lawyers have a high asking fee and you will have to prepare yourself financially for this.

Another thing that needs to be considered is what to do with the children after the divorce. Those who are childless do not have to worry about this one. The custody of the children is often one problem that is faced by most couples, based on public divorce records statistics. Child custody becomes a problem when both parties cannot come into an agreement on who should have custody of the child. Child support is another thing that must be discussed. Since raising a child can be a heavy burden financially, child support also needs to be discussed, as well as visitation rights of the parent who will not have the custody of the child.

Division of conjugal property is another thing that needs to be properly discussed. It is important that both parties can come up with an agreement on who gets the properties that they both own. It isn’t necessary that the properties will be equally divided as long as they come up with something that they both with agree on.

A divorce is not only stressful and expensive but can also be emotionally traumatic to the family, especially the children. So now that you know how to divorce and you know that it isn’t an easy process, then perhaps you will have to think twice and as much as possible find ways to patch things up so you do not end up resorting to a divorce. Remember, once you get divorced, the public divorce records will show it and it can be an issue to your next potential partner if you should decide to have a new one.

By: Tessa Watson

In California, a 730 evaluation can be described as an in-depth study and analysis of a family, their children, and the relationships within the family in the context of a child custody and/or visitation dispute. A 730 evaluation is also known as a child custody evaluation or child custody investigation. 730 evaluations are specific to California in that the number “730” refers to the California Evidence Code Section 730 under which it is ordered.

In legal terms, California Evidence Code Section §730 states:

“When it appears to the court, at any time before or during the trial of an action, that expert evidence is or may be required by the court or by any party to the action, the court on its own motion or on motion of any party may appoint one or more experts to investigate, to render a report as may be ordered by the court, and to testify as an expert at the trial of the action relative to the fact or matter as to which the expert evidence is or may be required. The court may fix the compensation for these services, if any, rendered by any person appointed under this section, in addition to any service as a witness, at the amount as seems reasonable to the court. Nothing in this section shall be construed to permit a person to perform any act for which a license is required unless the person holds the appropriate license to lawfully perform that act.”

A 730 evaluation is typically conducted by a “child custody evaluator,” also known as a 730 evaluator or custody evaluator. The 730 evaluator will play the role of the investigator and look closely at the family dynamics so he/she can provide the court with a 730 evaluation report as evidence to help the court find the best possible arrangement that reflects the overall best interest of the child. The 730 evaluation report may be oral or written and the 730 evaluator may be called to testify or cross-examined at trial.

A 730 evaluation is generally ordered for a specific purpose and usually within high-conflict or complicated child custody cases where expert evidence is required. Before agreeing to a 730 evaluation you will want to discuss your particular case with a family law attorney in your area to help you learn whether or not a 730 evaluation is the right approach for you.

© 2006 Child Custody Coach

By: Steven Carlson