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Going through divorce is never a walk in the park. Emotions run on high and dirty laundry are inevitably aired. It becomes a more harrowing experience when there are kids in the family equation. Many New Zealand families are torn apart by divorce every year. As much as you want to shield them from the turbulent proceedings and the pain of it all, you can only do so much. They certainly are involved and affected by the entire thing, especially with regards to custody issues.

In New Zealand, the only ground for getting a divorce or dissolution of marriage is for the husband and wife to be estranged for two years. After the lapse of the 2 year period, the parties can then go to court and apply for an order which will dissolve their marriage. In order to fight for your cause effectively, you need someone on your side, advocating your crusade.

You need a lawyer who will prepare and arrange the service of the applications for the dissolution of your marriage. Ever wondered how to find a divorce lawyer in New Zealand?

Five Places to Find a Divorce Lawyer in New Zealand.

1. The easiest way to go is to ask friends and family for referrals. Surely someone you know has had a legal encounter of some sort. If not them, then probably someone they know. This network can potentially yield a lawyer that has been tried and tested. Trust is something that should be present in a lawyer-client relationship. With this referral system, building trust will come fairly easier, knowing the lawyer has been of commendable service to someone close to you, or known to someone close to you.
2. Check the New Zealand Bar Association. A Bar Association is an organization for New Zealand lawyers. They have listings of lawyers practicing in different fields. The set-back here is that you would be choosing from a long list of lawyers who are strangers to you. You could “shop around” for your lawyer by paying them a visit or calling their number first to check if the first consultation is free. If it is, go check out the lawyer and see how you feel about him/her.
3. Go through your local town’s Yellow Pages. Lawyers are often listed there particularly in the bigger towns of Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch. You can get their contact information and set up an appointment so you can meet the lawyer in person. continue reading…

Fear, Greed and the Desire for Power are the cause of incessant conflict in personal relationships and particularly when the relationship the center of a divorce or custody action.

Each has its own traits in litigation to look for and control:

1. FEAR: The biggest fear is that of the unknown. What will happen to me and to our children as a result of this litigation? Will I have a place to live and money to live on? Will the children be with me enough? Will the children be OK when they are with the other parent?

2. GREED: There never seems to be “enough” in divorce and custody cases. There is not enough time with the children, there is never enough money or property to go around.

3. DESIRE FOR POWER: Each party in a Divorce of Child Custody Action wants to be a “Winner.” Each wants to believe that they have power over the other party, whether it be in the form the decision making or time with the children, how much money they give to the other party or the other party takes for support, power to impact the outcome through manipulation, the ability to out finance the other side, or emotional strength to endure to battle.

It is easy to misinterpret someone’s actions or what they say, when any of these three factors come into play. An innocent statement may be interpreted as a “Desire for Power.” This misinterpretation then leads you to the wrong action (or reaction.) For example, You become fearful that the other Parent of your Children is trying to manipulate you and dominate the children’s time when their particular request in a certain situation may be a legitimate one.

Your desire for “more,” whether it be for more time with the children, more money, more assets, and just more attention, is a bottomless pit that can never be filled. Get rid of the “I wants.”

It is almost impossible to stay away from these emotions, particularly when experiencing a custody or divorce action. Just try to recognize when you are experiencing the “Big Three.” Ask yourself if they are the Motivating Factor for your actions. You will have come a long way just by recognizing these emotions, and you will often be able to avoid saying or doing the wrong thing because you are no longer on “automatic pilot.”

Leave these three words out somewhere that you will see them often. Continue to ask yourself, are my actions today motivated by any or all of them? If so, you have a chance to change your behavior and in turn, make life a much better place for you, and most importantly, for your children.

If your motivations are right, the outcome of your Child Custody or Divorce case will also be right and you will be satisfied with it, I guarantee it.

By: Dianne Ophelia

Good divorce tactics for men can mean the difference between a horrible ordeal and a simple procedure that lets you get on with your life. Here are some suggestions to get through a divorce intact. Make sure you have yourself covered when it comes to separation and divorce. This means protecting your assets and your financial identity.

Talk to a lawyer face-to-face. Don’t fill out some online form and assume that you will be taken care of. You may simply be taken for everything you have. Trust advice only from a divorce lawyer. Other sources like your friends or lawyers that deal with other aspects of law might mean well, but they do not have the background and experience necessary to help you.

It is tempting to use “underhanded” divorce tactics for men since the system is set up to favor women. But this can backfire against you in court and in the long run. It is better to keep everything in the open and as civil as possible.

When children are involved, emotions will be very raw. It is important for them to be able to see their parents acting like adults. If you cannot keep your temper when dealing with your ex, be sure you only have contact with her when the children are not around.

A good lawyer will understand your position and help you with divorce tactics for men that ensure the fairest possible resolution. The best tactics are the ones that allow to you feel like an honest man when it is all over and your new life begins.

By: Steve Murray